Space Mirrors and Smoke

The earth is heating up, and so, our good friends, the Americans have decided they need to do something about it. Am I the only one who is worried that the same country that elected Dubya is going to try and sort out one of the major issues facing humanity?

Because if I am I would suggest everyone else starts worrying. George and his countrymen have decided that the best solution would be space mirrors and reflective smoke... Basically they figure that instead of stopping the earth retaining heat they can just stop the heat getting to earth in the first place by doing things like pumping reflective smoke into the atmosphere and launching giant space mirrors... Surely I cannot be the only one who finds it a little moronic that while the rest of the earth is tring to reduce the amount of crap in the atmosphere George is going to add to it. And giant space mirrors? We are always hearing about all the crap that is orbiting earth at 18 times the speed of light, you know the stuff, nuts, bolts, the American shuttle crew's half eaten burgers... What if that were to break George's magical mirror, then glass would come through the atmosphere, melt as it went through and it would rain melted glass, thanks for thinking it through George. And also, with the slightest miscalculation (which the Americans are brilliant at making) We would end up freezing out asses off, or worse, to much power to engine 1 and the mirror end up focusing the light onto earth, great.

I really wish the US would stop saying such stupid things in interviews and press conferences and the like, it would save us having to complain about how ridiculous their WMDs and space mirror theories are.

Family Gatherings

Family events. Does anybody actually enjoy these. And if somebody does then that raises one question; why? As I see it, it is basically an opportunity to be in the same area as all of the distant relatives you never knew you had and not communicate with anybody because you don't know their names. And you can't ask their names because you are expected to know them. There always seem to be at least two more children each year,too. That is two loud, annoying children who seem to draw energy from the hatred they inspire in you, and then use that energy to hurt themselves, so that nobody can get angry at them and they have an excuse to be even louder.

And sometimes you are expected to bring food. Inevitably you will bring meat, because meat is great. Then when you get there you will be told by somebody named Barbara (they are always called Barbara) that some weirdo you have never seen, let alone known you were related to is a vegetarian and that the letter they sent to the house you lived in six years ago had told you to bring salad for them. I will then proceed to tell Barbara that that is ridiculous and that vegetarians don't really exist and are just made up to scare children. And of course the desserts will all have the exact same colour and texture as cement because somebody "Got the quantities wrong". This makes me wonder how much cement mix they actually put in, because it was clearly far to much. And the worst part is you have to pretend to enjoy them "Oh did you really get the quantities wrong? I never would have guessed!"

Then everybody goes home, has their stomach pumped and swears never to go to another one of these events. The next year you end up having to go because every excuse imaginable has been used by somebody else. Bob has been attacked by a Bengal tiger, Jill is on an important business trip, Tom didn't get the invitation, Dylan was having a tumour removed on that day etc.